The Next Big Thing!

Photo by Nikolay Kovalenko on Unsplash

These days it seems like everybody on the planet, or at least in the Western World, is laying claim to being a genius. And, according to one definition of the word, they may just be right.

If we were to define a genius as somebody who is dedicated to a singular activity at which they excel, then just about every single person who is dedicated to, and spectacularly succeeds at, staying alive, is a genius. How's that for the democratisation of intelligence?

And this concept of genius does also apply to all living things. Insects, animals, and trees, all have the right to be called genius. Now let's take this a step further and say that the organism that manages to outlive all others, is the most genius. 

Well, that counts us mere homo sapiens out for a start. And the Dinosaurs and Dodos did not fare too well either. I used to think that perhaps the longest-living organism was a tree, and with good cause. The Great Basin bristlecone pine pictured below, is 5000 years old. However, that is a mere youngster.

"Pando, a colony of quaking aspen, is one of the oldest-known clonal trees. Estimates of its age range up to 900,000 (or even 1,000,000) years old. It is located in Utah, United States." Wikipedia.

And still, these trees are nowhere near the oldest living things! Can you believe that?

Another contender for the title for being the smartest cooky on the block, by virtue of outliving all others is what is called Permian Bacteria. This stuff is reputed to be 250 million years old! However…..

How about I tell you of an organism that never ever dies and presumably never has since it first began about four billion years ago? I am speaking of what is called the Immortal Jellyfish. This organism hurtles towards a seemingly inevitable death, only to slam on the brakes and ram the gear shift into reverse at the last second. Ergo, this crafty blighter takes the prize for being the biggest genius of them all.

All of that being said, it only covers what we have scientific evidence of. What if we homo sapiens are actually older than all of them put together? Of course, we would need to be able to prove that. And just maybe, we could.

My much younger brother was the one who inadvertently gave me the idea I am about to propose. Rob never misses the opportunity to remind me of how old I am. For example, Rob tells me that I am that old I was probably a foot soldier for God. Then, one-day last week, over-egging the pudding in his own inimitable style, he told me that I am older than dust. And that got me thinking. What if we could sift dust for human DNA? I can see a whole new industry arising from this idea, mining dust. 

In fact, it is such a great, original idea that I have half a mind to patent it, just in case somebody takes the idea up. Imagine the royalties due on that one. Now if mining dust is not a genius idea I do not know what is. And that, I do believe, might make me a contender for the biggest genius of them all. However, that blessed Immortal Jellyfish is going to take some beating.

On the other hand, perhaps people will tell me that it is the most ridiculously stupid idea they ever heard and that I should grow up and get a proper job. I have given that a good deal of thought too, and I have decided that, whilst they may well be right, it wouldn't be half as much fun as doing this.